the tortoise and the hippo

For Amy Elizabeth, because she's a fat shit who is constantly aggravating me.

18 reasons why I love her:

1. When I say to her "You remind me of the babe" she says "what babe" and I say "the babe with the power" and on it goes.
2. When I also say huh, she says what, and then we both say shoe. I don't really know why, it just happened one day.
3. She has the most kick arse hardcore family in the world who miss me when I haven't been around.
4. My family miss her when she's not around
5. She travelled half the world but still got sad over Dove soap because it reminded her of me.
6. 4 words: So did you bitch.
7. The night I practically got alcohol poisoning she invented a vomit bucket thing out of enviro bag and a plastic bag.
8. She's a sausmench.
9. Cheap wine + Lucy's party this year + a desperate need to pee.
10. She puts up my sisterly and retarded ways, eg; constantly embarassing her.
11. Once we stayed in bed all day reading Breaking Dawn. Then we went and ate our bodies weight in pancakes.
12. She has double eyelashes. DOUBLE FUCKING EYELASHES.
13. She listens to emo music. I'm talking Atreyu, I killed the Prom Queen bullshit.
14. When we watched The Bucket List, we bawled our eyes out for a good hour.
15. She actually pays for her extra sauces at the Uni bakery. When every other person just steals them
16. She held my hand and spoke the perfect rambling crap when I got two of my tattoos.
17. She met up with my dog in Greece.
18. She's alway has been and will always be there.

Happy birthday for Wednesday wanker. Love you.