you left stains on my sheet and stains on my soul.

My love pocket for humanity took quite a few hits yesterday (despite my happyclappy blog) so I'm THRILLED out of my brain to announce that Cadbury has FINALLY gone fuckin Fairtrade. yay, justice has prevailed. After all the years of campaigning by World Vision and Oaktree and I'm sure countless other rockin organisations the goal has finally been reached. I can't help but feel like hugging someone or specifically any one who campaigned for the cause.

I watched Milk today about Harvey Milk the San Fran city supervisor who was openly gay and shot by a fellow politician in like '75 or something. It was simultaneously inspiring and crushing and I cried the whole way through not because it was sad from start to finish but because as you've probably already picked up, humanity just eats at me. I don't understand what compels people to waste so much energy on hating someone for something so irrelefuckingvant as sexual orientation. While I was watching the movie I actually had the retarded thought that it was graphic. In comparison to any other normal M rated movie, it wasn't graphic at all! There was a couple of guy on guy kisses, some insinuations of sex but nothing to something like Mr and Mrs Smith or The Notebook or whatever. I mentally suckerpunched myself for having the mentality that two guys kissing is graphic for a movie. Its the 21st century mothertruckers, boy on boy pashes should be NORMAL!

One of the reasons my love pocket for Earthians took a hit was because of this excerpt of a doco, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7jAT0FAGBc

If I could force everyone to watch it, I would, no questions. But obviously, I can't so I'm just going to pop it on here and hope that people take my advice. It's 10minutes long and so much more illuminating than anything I've seen on a youtube video, ever I think.

WATCH IT.

How cute, just got word that Hugh Evans (love of my life) is in NZ with his organisation Global Poverty Project where the Cadbury factory is and they are calling everyone to go the factory and bring flowers :) ♥ tomorrow morning!

Aw, I spose I can deal with humans a little after all.

New slurpee flavour made my night its called Citrus Kick and it has taurine and it takes like apple sour goodness all over again, but different at the same time.

I'm SO tired, I'm speaking shit.

Love,

Jackie big tits x

We all felt it, the push pull, the struggle of being a kid in a super grown up world.

Super exhausted but I'm snuggled up in mum and dad's bed watching Foreign Correspondent with mum, Tuesday night tradition. Tonight the topic is acid throwing in Bangladesh. Apparently it's become some sort of disgusting way of punshing women and babies, throwing buckets of acid on girls faces because not only does it cause the most immense pain it comes with a terrible social stigma, the disfigured are shunned by their villages and society at large. Most of the cases are because of land and housing disputes, what it is really is women being victims of the cruel mentality of men in a society that favours them largely.

ANYWAY, enough of my little information session. I wish they would just chuck a journalism degree at me, save so much time and money and frankly, if you can structure a sentence, pay attention to detail and are good with people then you're practically already a journalist!

Today T and I trotted around uni and went to Indro to get her birthday dress, which amazingly, was a last minute success! It's wonderful.

We stopped off at the chocolate men's (Volt and Jude) pad where Peter (Barbados) was also lounging about. The laughs I get out of those boys is just insane and I feel like this year hasn't been a waste on a couple of separate occasions, one being when I look at the article I had published in that fake magazine thing for AMUNC and another being when I think of all my new friends, and my new friends being friends with my old friends and then voila! My world has simultaneously gotten bigger and smaller but ultimately more friendly and loving. Oh and I also think about the fact I saw Coldplay live and then I think about Wolston Park adventure and the afternoon April and Teagan and I almost got skewered by bulls after stumbling into a paddock by accident and then I think about late night soccer games and meteor showers and the road trips and the dozens and dozens of 18ths and putting a blow up boat in the Bremer River and all the other magical things that have happened and all I can think is fuck me sideways, I am the luckiest person in the entire world.

and despite the fact that this early freak show by nature of a heat wave is making everyone a little spastic and all this weird shit is happening and my eye balls hurt from dust in the hot wind, I still hold to that. I have a spectacular life.

Love,

Jackie x

PS- I got told I was fine the way I was today. yay!

you're nothing but your dad's eyes and your mum's lips.

I really like the concept of every single person being a collective of everything and everyone they know. I also like the concept that before our parents even had sex, who our parents were going to be was decided. Like, the Universe chose my dad's rogue, free spirit, swearing, couldn't give a shit, tough skinned self to mix with my mum's sweet nature, silent strenght and compasson then, bam I was born, a product of both. Kind of icky but also a kind of pretty thought that who we are was planned for the world before anyone had a say in the matter. I can see it in alot of my friends and their parents too.

I am feeling like utter rubbish but on the bright side I am sweltering hot.

I'm embarking on a personal project of being more sweet and well mannered. Apparently a dash of vulnerability and sweet naturedness would make me more endearing. I largely disagree but we'll see how it goes!

Love,

Jackiex

Spin me around like a marionette

Made it! Enjoyed food, food, glorious food from 12pm onwards today.

It was RIDONKULOUSY hot today, so utterly kickin'. I take my hat off to Mother Earth majorly right now. I think she knows sunshine, salt water, jasmine and denim shorts is what everyone is needing.

Today Amy came over and chatted with dad about travel plans to the Philippines in Jan, woo. Then we barbequed up a storm at colleges crossing which was chillaxing.

I really have nothing to say except I'm so proud of fellow faminers, esp T for being an indestructible force during this whole thing. $120! You rock at life. Oodles of kudos going to you sis.

I have nothing to report on. Weekend has been fairly uneventful.

Top picture is Bob Dylan because he is infinite amounts of sexiness and wisdom and intelligence even now as a 70 something year old.

Middle picture is just quirky cute.

Last picture is a post secret postcard cept missing the secret. It's just cute and warms my heart.

Lots of love,

Jackie x

Oh darling, I was never free for the taking.

Obessions of late: Lisa Mitchell, Miss Martini cocktails and x & y bar.

Been starving myself since 8 last night for World Vision 40hr famine, I have never, ever appreciated food and the novelty of being able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want more .

Last night Amy and I had our first night out together. We had dinner at the Fox which was really good (ignoring the fact I am so hungry now, a spag bog sanga was looking good) and just trotted around West End then made our way to the Valley where we bar hopped and danced the night away with Col. x&y bar was a fave, the interior was so cool and the non pretentious clientele and music that wasn't pure sound and computerised bleeps and blops added to the chicness of the place.

My intestines have honestly been consumed by my disgruntled stomach. Considering the lack of sensible and coherent thoughts I am having, I think my brain is also being slowly digested.

Just got back from the movies with twinnies and T and Amy. We saw The Ugly Truth, which was great fluffy nothingness to take away from the roar of our stomachs. (Mine, T and Amy's that is.) It had Izzie in it from Grey's Anatomy which makes me smile. Everything about Katherine Heigl is kick bum, right down to her refreshing honesty and lack of facade when she's being interviewed.

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY I AM WRITING ABOUT THIS! WHY!

Oh I know, because I haven't eaten for 25 and a half hours. I feel dizzy and sick. But really whats sickening is that I can go upstairs at any time and eat more food in one serving that what say, an poor Indian family will consume in a week. That thought chills me to the core. Whats sickening is yay for me, tomorrow I'm going to have a hearty serving of wedges with sour cream and chilli sauce but tomorrow 25,000 children will die because they couldn't get a bowl of rice. I know these statistics are wasted and lost on our society now because honestly, it's all been said before. People have become immune and hardened their hearts. Tomorrow someone will get up and go to work, bitch about their marriage, bitch about coffee prices, bitch about Sunday trading, bitch about the Subway cue, about chipped nail polish, about a headahce, about a blister on their foot, about dogs barking, about slow internet, about petrol and traffic about the rude waitress and about Farmtown clogging up their facebook home page.

Tomorrow while everyone is bitching about irrelevancies like nail polish and running out of milk, twenty five thousand children will have died.

Suddenly 26 hours without food pales in comparison, right?

My brain hurts. I'm going to bed.

Love,

Jackiex

There will be no mods or rockers in this house.

'The Rockstarz'-best soccer team in Sth East QLD.

FROM LAST NIGHT.

Giddily happy, which usually happens Thursday evenings. Thursday are by FAR the best day of the week.
Last night was an absolute blast, Amy, Cass, Stace and I trotted to Brisbane to meet up with our fave chocolate men plus Jack for ice cream (banana and maltesers please and thank you) and a night of chillaxing. What started as a silly game of soccer between us all (Volt, Nio, Peter, Cecilia, Jack, Jude and us girls) turned into a full on ethnic soccer game with the arrival of about 10 other lovely chocolate people about the same age of us who randomly asked if they could join. We divided into an us and them type thing, us being "The Rockstarz." We won 2-0 thanks to Amy's spectacular goal and Jude's (?) I can't remember details but I do remember laughing a hell of alot and feeling very alive. I think the world would be a happier place if people remembered how good it is to get back to basics: barefoot soccer games in a park with friends, new and old, eating ice cream and near losing concsiousness from laughing too hard while running are thrills a nightclub or the best kind of alcohol could never recreate.
Today covered 'The British Invasion' in music and the contentious issue of the apology by K-Rudd in Power, Passion and Politics. Our pols1601 tute has become very tight knit and I absolutely adore the hour every Thursday when all these bright, young people sit around and discuss/debate things that matter. I'm not including myself in the bright young people category but I do feel v. priviledged to have my mind stretched,prodded and ultimately broadened like it is every week in that hour, just from having people challenge what I say and listening to other peoples perspectives.
Silas drove me home again today, we chatted about life and death and every thing in between again. We talk so much on these journeys home we might actually have covered everything there is possible to cover in human conversation. Mostly I enjoy our chats because every week he crawls out of the catergory I plopped him into when I didn't even know him which was obnoxious, arrogant Eddies boy and exceeds all my expectations. I love when people do this, because I SHOULD be proved wrong. Who the eff am I to pigeon-hole someone I know nothing about.

Lessons learnt today:

1)I shouldn't not like someone because he puked organge goo on my best friends desk in grade 5. Sorry Amy, but the inevitable has happened. We're FRIENDS.

2)Meeting new people that are as kickin as some of the ones in my tute is a natural high. I suspect great times ahead for our pols1601 gang.

3)Discussions about reconcilliation get not only my brain juices flowing but my heart juices too. (Equally, if not more, important)

4)The gravity fuck up I made last year will follow me forever. Even to university. Even to my political science tute.

5)Soccer is fun.

Oh! and I got labelled someone with Only Child Syndrome today. Because I am quote "dominating and controlling."
fml, I can't deal with all these labels as of late.
haha but I do concede I find it all slightly amusing.
Lots and lots of undiluted loved and happpiness,
Jackie x

Of house-elves and childrens tales, of love, loyalty and innocence.

Finished: the last 9 chapters of HP & the Deathly Hallows, because nothing makes me feel as much as I do when I read those last chapters. The fact that Harry kicks Voldy's arse in the end, the triumph over evil, love winning, justice prevailing yadeyadeeyada just gets to me.

Not finished: Religion assignment. Why is university so gosh darn painful?

Question: Why the eff did I choose religion anyway? Me, the girl who refused to have a holy communion at 11 because under NO CIRCUMSTANCES was I going to be inducted into a religion I knew nothing about. ("How do I know I want to even be a Catholic, I've never had a choice in the matter, you chose for me, Catholics touch little boys etc") Mum looked at me that day with sadness in her eyes and I think she knew right there and then that she had birthed a rebellious lost cause.

Uploaded more phots of mine, T, Bee's and Aprils adventure wonderland because I think the photos are just ace.

Lots of love,

Jackiexxxx

Well, you know, we all want to change the world.

I smell like Body Shop strawberry lip balm. A day where I smell like Body Shop strawberry lip balm aka lollies can only be a good one and it is. THIS FUCKING WEATHER! It's mind blowingly fantastic.

Oh, the Sunshine State. ♥

I smell like lollies courtesy of the Body Shop due to a spontaneous trip to Indro at lunch time with T where she bought a fanfreakingtabulous dress. Its cutie patootie x an infinite amount and I am already sussing out ways I can steal it from her cupboard.

Otherwise, I've spent most of the day sitting on the patio with baby goat Daisy and dogs Jude and Bilbo running back and forth under my feet and nuzzling my legs. What I haven't done much (any at all) of today is my effing World Religion assignment. Anyone want to tell me in a approx 1000 words the role of myth in Christianity and Hinduism?

I thoroughly enjoy the picture above. Outsiders are the greatest and for a reason unbeknownst to even me, I feel like I can relate.

I have also realised my blog seems to be a constant update on the shenanigans my friends and I get up to. Time for a blog name change perhaps?

Back to mythological tales in the Christian tradition,

Love,

Jackie.x

Well, I wish her a speedy rockbottom.

First true summer/spring day of year. Heat, humidity, late afternoon storm clouds, a couple of petty drops of rain, the unveiling of a spectacularly clear night complete with warm breeze.

So, so stoked. I know I've raved about summer before but it just speaks alcohol, gardenias and FUN to me. Happiness in summer is just a given.

Washed T's car today, like the old summer days on the front lawn with a hose before Mother Nature decided to tell Australia to shove it and stopped giving us rain. Yay for no more drought restrictions (Like anyone even had those silly short showers anyway).

Also went to gym this evening with Teagan. I feel like I just survived a road train driving over me. A couple of times, in fact.

But a good kind of ache, you know those.

Nothing else to say except life is a tad mediocre atm. I need something exciting, a big, shiny new oppurtunity. I am feeling impotent. Not good.

Mum is also really sick after our great dinner outing last night at the Gold Coast for her birthday. Slightly worried, she's been a great big bag of ill health lately, not fun at all.

I really have nothing to vent , rant or babble about. Wasn't called any names today, pretty brill nor rude or anything else for that matter.

Hmmph.

Lots of love,

Jackie x

lets take some time out to be ridiculous

Missed: bus & train

Misplaced: motivation

Should be eating a sausage roll and getting prepped for World Religions lecture. Instead sitting on my patio in the sun, facebooking and eating a crumpet.

"This morning I saw an asian guy in a mighty ducks jumper. Made my day cause people don't do that shit anymore."

-text message from T this morning. She's a freak but this message made me laugh out loud.

Getting increasingly excited for a two week sojourn to the Philippines. Above picture is a mexican bar/restaurant that Amy and I will undoubtedly spend most of our time.

Love

Jackie

PS-Got called "pretty brill." I find myself charmed as I've never been called "pretty brill" before and it sounds like something that would be said in an English accent, yummo.

It's a silly time to learn to swim when you start to drown.

I actually have alot to write about but I've left it all too late and my revelry and inspiration for what has occurred the last couple of days has stopped. In a nutshell, found the most perfect Stargirl Caraway enchanted place (Well, actually T found it and would probably cut my throat in my sleep if I tried to take credit for it) and April, Bee, T and I spent a whole afternoon lying in the grass, talking life and shit until sundown.

Basically the only thing I am inspired for at the moment is a cool little man called Hugh Evans. He's this mass nerd who I am insanely in love with, he went to the Philippines when he was 14 with World Vision, he lived in India for a year when he was 15, he founded the Oaktree Foundation, organised the Make Poverty History concert with U2 when he was what, 20 or something, he's the chair of the Global Poverty Project and started The Human Race. Um, he's only 25.

http://www.hughevans.com.au/media

I love him and want to BE him.

Brodie has left home again, goodbyes suck, again.

I don't have anything else I feel like saying, so I've placed a bucketload of pretty pictures. If all else fails, visual pleasure comes through.

Love,

Jackie x

Twelve years to paddle down a river? Twelve years?!

This blog is from Thursday, 13th. Internet raped itself so entries are a bit jumbled. x

Day was a hectic mess, but I felt really good. More importantly last night T, S and AP came over at 12.45am to lie on the road and watch the meteor shower. What was described as something that would light up the sky was actually just about 5 shooting stars but still the loveliness of a night spent whispering and giggling at 1am with three of my best friends lying out on the road in the cold staring at the sky was priceless. I'm starting to soak up and appreciate more the freedom that I possess as an 18 year old, I'm free of the worlds clutches while I'm still classified as a teenager and being anything else scares me a little.
Today was my first Thursday at uni where I haven't been hungover and intensely tired. I've forgotten what it feels like to be able to take notes and engage in what the lecturer is saying! Joking..but seriously. I learnt SO much and remembered once more that I chose the subjects I did because I am actually interested and passionate about them so there I was soaking up all this knowledge. It was great. Olly drove Flynn and I to uni which was a hoot, they spoke alot of shit and we gossiped the whole way there. After mine and Olly's lecture we (Flynn, Olly and I) drove into the city to grab a bite to eat with Brode and Tash and then just as the twins arrived we had to leave.
Afterwards, Silas drove me home where we had a huge and varied discussion, focussing basically on the big ones: life, love and religion. It was a great chat and provided me with food for thought for the next week at least.
Feeling a bit down in the dumps for reasons I cannot share in blog-land (yes, call me a tame and cop out blogger) but Ap came over last night just for a little while to eat my food and wash the dishes with me with the Beatles playing in the background (once again: piratebay.org-I love you more.) Then Bee called at about half eleven with a little bit of broken heart and alot to vent about. It called for one of the shrink activities my dad used to make me do that I'll only admit here and begrudgingly so actually did make me feel better: we wrote a list of what we love about ourselves. Our internal dialogue is often the cruelest, so getting it out on paper the things that we actually do love about ourselves is not only hard but an excellent bandaid for self esteem rips and tears.
When I got stuck Bee would help me with things she loved about me and vice versa but only a couple because that would defeat the purpose. Here are a few of mine:
-I can still kick my leg really high in the air
-I have an uncanny ability to write from the heart (that was Bee's suggestion :) )
-I have people that love me unconditionally
-I will change the world.
Last one: No matter what I will always have Tinkerbell for adventures, to forget shitcunts, to laugh with and to remember that I always deserve the best.
Disclaimer: I do not condone or generally use the c-bomb. However some situations just warrant its use. Such as a heartbreak.

Love,

Jackie (big tits) xxxxxx

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls a butterfly

Ekka showday today, yummo. Ekka; perfect setting for the beginning of a bigger pandemic than Swine and Hendra put together. Plus the greasy, creepily old food, the smell of horse poo and the fact that you have to blow a whole lot of dough to be there amongst thousands of other sweaty, yucky people.

As you can guess: I didn't and will not attend.

Instead today Teagan and I had a study date (hahahaa.Yeah, I know.) and then hung out at the twins' reading mags and gossiping about Cassie's big weekend away.

Decided I am actually the rudest bitch out on some occassion, but I have also decided I do not even care. I know that I am a genuinely kind person, I care about people, I love easily so my blatant honesty and bitchy remarks are nothing more than a facet of my personality. I have the gift of the gab but I also have the curse of not knowing when to shut my mouth.

It was good having a gas bag about life and its complications in the dim lighting of Staceys room. Much overdue.

Yuck-just saw an ad for a ShortStack concert on Myspace. I honestly would rather be thrown in a vat of boiling oil than go to one of those things. Anyway speaking of myspace, I'm going to do half of a myspace quiz,simply because I am avoiding doing my readings on Citizenship and because I miss doing them.

1. What does your last text message say?

Humanity definitely needs an oppurtunity to be helped!

2. Have you ever crawled through a window?

Yep, a couple of times. The adventurous and messy life of mine.

3. Whats something that can always make you feel better?

A hug, the Sound of Music dance youtube video, something new, potato wedges with sour cream and sweet chilli sauce, a tattoo, a d&m with my dad, reading a book with my mum and an evening spent with quack pack.

4.What can you hear right now?

The Kooks singing Jackie Big Tits haha. It makes me feel spesh and so much cooler than Jack,Jack,Jackie. Honestly if people greeted me as Jackie big tits as often as people greeted me as Jack,Jack,Jackie I would be a less 'rude' person.

5.How do you feel right now?

Good, a little tired, my back hurts as per usual, I'm excited about uni tomorrow but I am getting the restless feeling that usually results in a tattoo. Uh oh.

I'm over the quiz, too much effort.

POLS1601 readings call. fuck.

Love,

Jackie big tits.

x

you can sit beside me when the world comes down

$2 and a can of Coke.

Yesterday B, T and I (BTI looks like some sort of sandwich..mmm) spontaneously went on an adventure to the Coast. The weather could not have been more perfect, we swum, sung and just lay in the sun all day. The water was so cold but so, so invigorating and we were bashed by the ocean for a good half an hour and it is and will be what gets me through the week, that feeling of being in the water again and tasting like salt all day. It was one of those perfect days where nothing really matters. Doing cartwheels up and down the beach, swearing at the cold water, lying contentedly in the sun and putting flowers in our hair is exactly what we were MEANT to be doing yesterday.

Last night mum and dad sat me down and told me about their plans to buy a house in the Philippines so that they could live there half the year, running an internet cafe that at night would be transformed into a school for children, teaching them the basics of computer knowledge and other things. Dad said that he didnt want to be another one of those white old people who trot over to the 3rd world to channel Mother Teresa but I am so, so proud of them. I know that it's not going to drastically change the condition of the world at large but it will change the condition of the world for a couple of kids who will grow up to scavenge scrap metal in rubbish dumps.

Yesterday Aung San Suu Kyi was put under house arrest for another 18 months so that yay conveniently and NOT coincidentally she misses out on the election. The injustice makes my blood boil and I had a couple of frustrated tears this morning. I'm trying to organise some sort of protest, vigil type thing in Brisbane, hopefully that will all come together.

EVERYONE: http://www.amnesty.org.au/action/action/21520/ < so, so, so important.

I feel like I had more to share but T is sitting across from me with her impatience face on because she is hungry and whats to go get food. So, I'll update again later.

Love,

Jackie x

PS-I got called rude today by someone who's opinion I value. Hmmf. Currently going through all events in past that may be considered rude. I'm starting to worry that I am actually a rude person. Not good.

PPS-Have come to the conclusion B should not go back to Willytown.

We were sitting in the strawberry swing, every moment was so precious.

Nothing significant to say once again except that B, T and little J (thats fancifully me) are going to the Gold Coast. I write this blog in nothing but bikinis and thongs and I smell like sunscreen. Happiness and excitement juices are leaking out of my pores.

Above picture was taken by a FAN at a Coldplay concert two nights ago. It's amazing.

Got some bad news (I knew Murphys Law would come get me) but I will vent later.

Love and sunshine,

Jackie x

I almost wish we were butterflies and lived but three Summer days.

Have just eaten my bodys weight in Nutella. Not good.

Just found out that there is ANOTHER Saw movie coming out. Honestly, another one. Utterly fucking ridiculous.

Photos above nothing but visual pleasure for another pointless post, top one is Kelly and I on a rooftop in Melbourne. It was a happy day, we spent the whole day eating ice cream and exploring Melbourne by foot. Photo below is not of me, unfortunately. I think the photo is simply really cute and joyful.

I dont know what I am still doing awake. The Nutella-related sugar overdosed has eaten my common sense.

BYE for the 3rd time today,

Jackie x

Desmond says to Molly 'girl I like your face.'

Current obsession: Blood Diamond soundtrack and the incredulous amount of Beatles songs now on my laptop (THANK YOU PIRATE BAY.ORG)

Beatles discography is making separation from my laptop difficult atm.

Uni was a teeny waste, I attended my Religion lecture only to pass Harry Potter and Order of the Phoenix sized notes to Jude the whole time, skipped tutes to sit on grass with Jude and then met up with Amz then had a great, windows down, girltalkboytalk drive home with Flynn. Had a though today that I don't think I will ever get over the atmosphere of uni, the vibrancy of a place filled me so many young people just so cool.

It was actually hot today, Summer is coming! Which means Spring is too, filling me with dread and fear :( But I'll happily take on magpies if it means the beach and not worrying about dressing for the cold.

Feeling slightly negative about life and people. Everytime I get too wrapped up in something I mentally deck myself and think about the bigger picture so I'm thinking about a new project, Flynn's getting all involed in a Greens Party group at Uni and I'm very intrigued. I honestly, honestly think the cure for any type of unhappiness but in particular boy/girl troubles is to give the whole situation the middle finger and find something that will just personally better oneself or the world. Or both for ultimate satisfaction!

Whatever. I'm rambling, my head hurts, my eyes hurt, my throat and nose hurt plus I'm craving massive amouts of sugar, preservatives, cocoa and artificial flavouring. A kit kat block would suffice.

Off to go dig in the pantry then curl up in bed.

Love,

Jackie xxx

Spitting is not acceptable: Bus drivers are now equipped with DNA kits

Survived apple vodka, cheap wine, Celine Dion, T's horrendous make up skills and even fell asleep before Amy started snoring! Pleasantly surprised. Sitting at uni, doing everything I shouldn't be and feeling, yep, you guessed it, exhausted. But as is usual with my new little positive self, I'm happy. Last night was a giggle, we did the most lame and classic sleepover things, I honestly felt like I was 12 again. Except when I was 12 I probably wouldn't have been doing shots of apple flavoured smirnoff. None of us got drunk though and instead we kind of all just reveled in our own ridiculous company, complete with outrageous stage makeup (red lips and beauty dots to boot!).
Amy, T and I had to wake up at 5.30 (but we hadn't made it past incoherent mumbling by 5.50) though we were actually ready and rearing to catch our train. Amy and I consumed our UQ sausage rolls with the enthusiasm of people who had fasted for a week, she trotted off to her lecture and now here I am, killing time in the library, listening to wankers on the computer across from me. One guy is obviously and terribly hitting on the girl he's with. It's filling me with a desire to attack the back of his head with a blunt object. His flirtation is actually obnoxious arrogance (yuckkkkkkk) and its annoying everyone around. The girl sitting next to him keeps making exasperated eyes with me. Camaraderie through mutual annoyance!
I should probably do my religion readings now, probably being the watchword. I hope everyone has a good day :)
Love and sunshine,
Little J < hahahaha.
xxxxxxxxx

But if anything an opportunity to improve humanity

On the flipside of the crazy week: I'm alive and well! Albeit a little brain dead and a lot exhausted. Loving not working at all this weekend, its been a long time since I've truly experience the beauty of the weekend, my concept of time is all screwy now. It's 1pm on a beautiful Sunday and I have not done anything all day except read the papers with mum on dad on the balcony, something I have always loved doing. Wednesday, Brodstar, Amy,T and I had a fun little shopping day in the city something I haven't done in ages. That night Amy and I went to Espana's birthday drinks at Red Room and then to Regatta which was an absolute blast, something I was not expecting. We had lots of laughs and dances with our chocolate men and spent alot of time giggling at Spains drunken antics.

Thursday, Brodie became a UQ student for a day and we basically did the typical uni thing with Olly: we bludged around campus all day doing nothing but eating and getting up to mischief, including sneaking into the Schonell Theatre and pretending to be ballet dancers on the huge stage for awhile. It was a fun day.

Tonight, Stacey, Amy, April, Sheaye, Brodie, T and I are all having a pj party complete with makeovers and cheap wine. Unfortunately Cassie's in Sydney with her lover, so one part of the puzzle is missing. She's off on her own little adventure which is really important and I'm very, very proud of her.

Friday was a crazy and exhausting day at work with Jude, we mostly just walked around the city chatting to people and that night was Amy's official birthday dinner at Montezumas (Mexican:YUM). It was a good night of food and some cocktails and being the most ridiculous 17/18 year old immature rats in the place.

Yesterday, I spent the day pottering around the house after mum. Espana came over in the afternoon and we spent a gruelling 6 and something hours trying to film a video application for the Global Changemakers conference in London at the end of this year. Technical difficulties, the giggles and all sorts of shit screwed us over for awhile but we finally got it done. I'm pretty proud and hopefully he's got it in the bag.

Today is Olly's birthday so the usuals all fronted up for drinks around the fire at his place last night. I have to admit I was a bit of a wet blanket, arriving seriously late and leaving significantly early but it was good just sitting around the campfire smiling at the people around me. It was one of those moments where you look around and just feel content and overall, really lucky, despite the fact that people kept throwing ice cubes, Daniel was singing in his annoying drunk voice, someone kept changing the song and people kept throwing stupid shit in the fire.

For a week that I was dreading, I'm super happy. This coming week will probably be shit (thanks Murphys Law) but oh well, I'll just dredge up all my memories and laughter from this week and use it as my weapon against anything the world has to throw at me. Something else I've decided to throw in with my little head and heart, I'll be ok life philosophy.

I dont have anything more to report on, I'm thinking a nap would be the icing on the cake right now.

Lots of love,

Jackie xxxxxxxxxxx

Eating ice cream with eyes closed

Brodie is home! Last night T, Sheaye, Amy, Cassie, Stacey, April and I went to Brodies house and we just spoke alot of shit in her bedroom. I felt WHOLE. Even though we were all yelling over each other to talk.

Even more, Mum gets home from hospital tomorrow! Her surgery was today and she was kickin' when I went to see her this evening! Trying to throw as much positive energy out into the universe as a sign of my gratitude.

I'd had a terrible night sleep, was feeling down in the dumps about mums hospitalisation, had to work all day today, got lost on 6 different occassions today, had under $5 to my name, got jipped by a homeless man, walked an HOUR through cold evening Southbank then had a revelation: I was OK and everything was going to BE ok. It hit me this morning as I trudged lost and disoriented through West End that in particularly shit circumstances I was totally fine. I've decided to apply that to every day living. As long as I have my head and heart, everything is going to be a-ok. & it is.

Met the most amazing, amazing guy today. He told me I was mesmerizing and a ray of sunshine and hope. Which would of sounded lame if he hadn't been one of the most sincered and chilled people ever. He gave me a drawing thing that simply said NEVERTHELESS and had coloured crayon around it. I've never thought about what a great word nevertheless is. Have come to the conclusion it is. On the back was written "love." So: Nevertheless, love.

I also now have an 80 year old Italion boyfriend and two 80 year old Greek boyfriends. God, I love West End.

My brain is exloding.

So I'm going to get some much needed sleep.

I have lots more ranting to do, I had alot of time as I navigated my way through Brisbane to think philosophically so: expect big updates.

"Everything is happening because it is supposed or, the universe is unfolding as it should."

This mantra is really hitting me in the core atm, I love it and I truly believe it.

LOVE AND SUNSHINE AND HAPPINESS AND CONTENTEDNESS

Jackiexxxxxxxxx

Now go, stand up to a giant, say that I'm a fighter.

I would very much like to know why Sundays that I have nothing planned go so quickly. WHERE DID YOU GO TODAY? I WANT YOU BACK! It was such a beautiful day and the coolest thing I did was bottle feed my baby goat, Daisy, because her mum died yesterday. Yay for early mornings of hand rearing goats, again. Oh, what it would be like to have normal parents who like to read and go to the movies in their spare time. My parents plant fruit trees, buy goats on impulse and renovate. They are constantly renovating. The problem with that is THEY NEVER FINISH THE JOB. Exhibit A, for example, my bedroom which is the bottom level of our house. My dad, good old scatterbrained 21st century hippie, chuckled that the whole downstairs area of our house was "the unfinished symphony" today. Yes, dad, you're right, but it's all fine for you. You're not the one whose door still has the protector plastic on it, and has had it on there since about 2005. However, they both make me laugh and make my life interesting. I mean, its not everyday you can say that you are handrearing a orphaned baby goat called Daisy. & thanks to their fruit tree obsession, I could easily walk into my backyard now and eat about 20 different types of exotic fruit. Pretty lucky, hey.

Brodie gets home tomorrow and I'm so excited to see her! It's about time that I get to babble about my existence to her face and not through a shitty telephone mouth part.

Ok off to bed. Big week starts tomorrow and I need to start it fresh!

Peace,

Jackie x

The human heart is susceptible to monstrous deceits

I've been too busy to update which is GOOD! It means Jackie has actually been living!

Amy turned 18 on Wednesday and the night was plain and simply a ridiculous mess. I have so much to say about the night but nothing really worth saying except that it was a bundle of fun, the death cab drive home and the sleepless night of talking shit at my house afterwards were highlights. Oh, the joys of being young.

Thursday, Oliver and I actually trotted off to our 10am Music lecture which was an enormous feat, considering hung over and sleep deprived states. Go us. We paid for it all day though, we were on a downhill path from the train trip to uni. The music lecture was fabulous, the feel of the building was so cool with music streaming from the rooms. Olly and I had a big gap where we just laid on the Great Court in the sun, incapable of doing anything else. I had my POLS lecture which was fun and afterwards Jack, Jude, Silas, Oll and I stuck around for the POLS sign on. We started organising an epic ghost hunting adventure to Wolston Park Mental Asylum or at least the remains of it. Check out the photos here: http://www.freewebs.com/brisbanesghosts2/wolstonwoogarooasylumand.htm. I cannot wait!

Yesterday T and I had this cool day of failed-at-life-seminar attending, window shopping and study plan making. We bought coloured cardboard and made a big semester calendar detailing alllll of our assessment. I'm quite proud of us, we're all over our shit this time around and are refusing to be overwhelmed quitters.

I am so tired and feeling a little frazzled. This week is going to be a huge one, Brodie returns to her rightful place, mum heads to hospital (again) which throws dad and I into turmoil, working for Amnesty, uni, birthday drinks, a World Vision Stir Session GFC seminar, Amy's birthday dinner, Ollys birthday party and organising the group of 40hour Faminers (which reminds me, if you aren't doing the famine, SPONSOR SOMEONE WHO IS. One of my lovely AMUNC friends is pretty into World Vision and has travelled as a Youth Ambassador to Laos where she was able to witness where World Visions money goes. It's important and genuinely worthwhile.).

My week is going to bleed me dry but I would rather this than anything else.

Superman is dying on the TV in front of me and all I can do is giggle. I cannot believe how ridiculous this movie is however I liked a bit of the narration that is the title.

At the moment the thought of a summer gallavanting around the Northern Territory is consuming me! Sunrise at Uluru, hiking through Kakadu National Park, swimming in waterholes, drinking in outback pubs..It is all I want at the moment.

Anyway, I must be off. Now I'm just tired babbling and oh look, Superman is fine. Despite the fact he didn't realise his undies were not actually on properly.

Loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Jackie x